Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
