Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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