im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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