If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
