with your own penis?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
