i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
