My friends, they love my intelligence
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize