All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
