Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
