I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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