Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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