Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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