i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
