am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
