I wish I only lived at night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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