after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It's just like the Real World with babies
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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