Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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