Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I will be naked everywhere
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
