Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
