Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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