Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
