Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
