Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
