when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
