...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
