Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
