glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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