There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Who died my cat blue again?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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