we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
