How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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