why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
