Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
