my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize