And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
its not stalking. its research.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
