do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
