Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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