If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
