she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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