Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think your dad took our porno
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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