fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Mom said you looked used
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
