Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
