fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
