Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
