Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
