I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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