My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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