I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
