My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
