I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
