Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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