just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
