Just took my morning after pill in the library
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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