i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
