another moral hangover. fuck.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
