Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
