I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think I sprained my soul last night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
