I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
