ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
