when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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